Remote Work: How To Look Busy When You're Not

So, you’ve joined the ranks of remote workers, trading in your commute for a cozy setup at home. Goodbye, uncomfortable office chair and small talk by the water cooler; hello, sweatpants and a couch that feels like a hug. But with this newfound freedom comes the inevitable question: how do you look busy when you're not actually doing much of anything? Fear not, because this guide will have you perfecting the art of appearing productive while binge-watching your favorite shows.

1. Master the Art of the Green Dot

Ah, the ever-watchful “Online” status. It’s like a virtual manager that never sleeps. The key here is to keep that dot green, signaling to the world that you’re fully engaged in your work. Set your status to active and ensure your Slack or Teams is open at all times. But beware, simply having the app open isn’t enough. You need to interact occasionally—send a message, react with a thumbs up, or better yet, throw in a random question like “What’s everyone’s thoughts on switching to Kubernetes for this?” Nobody knows what it means, but it’ll make you look smart and deeply invested.

2. The ‘Always-on’ Webcam Trick

For those who have to join video calls, here’s a pro tip: position your webcam so that it captures you at an angle, preferably where you look just slightly out of frame. It gives the impression that you’re busily typing away on another monitor (bonus points if you can type during the call to create that sweet, sweet keyboard sound). The slight distraction makes you seem more dedicated and possibly multitasking, which equals double the productivity in everyone’s book. Just make sure you’re not caught playing Tetris during a screen share—rookie mistake.

3. Send a Well-Timed Email

The well-timed email is an art form in itself. Send a message late at night or early in the morning. It doesn’t have to say much—maybe a quick question about the project or a suggestion for a feature no one asked for. The goal is to show that you’re thinking about work outside of traditional hours, painting you as a dedicated, go-getter type. Bonus: this makes everyone else feel slightly guilty and impressed, a perfect combo for a remote work star.

4. Create ‘Fake’ Meetings

Your calendar is your best friend. Block out chunks of time with vague, important-sounding meetings like “Project Alignment Discussion” or “Client Strategy Call.” Nobody needs to know that these are code for “nap time” or “episode 4 of that new Netflix series.” By populating your calendar with strategic blocks, you create the illusion of being in high demand, unavailable for random check-ins, and too busy for trivial tasks. It’s the perfect smokescreen for a lazy afternoon.

5. Share Random Articles in the Team Chat

Find some tech or industry-related articles and drop them in the team chat with comments like “Interesting read!” or “We should consider this approach.” It’s the equivalent of leaving a book open on your desk in the office. You don’t actually have to read the articles—who has time for that? The goal is to look like you’re staying ahead of the curve. Your colleagues will appreciate your effort to keep everyone informed, and your boss will think you're a thought leader.

6. Overuse Jargon in Your Status Updates

When updating the team or your boss, throw in as much jargon as possible. Words like “synergy,” “bandwidth,” “scalability,” and “leverage” are your friends. Nobody fully understands what these words mean in a practical sense, but that’s the point. It makes you sound like you’re juggling high-level concepts that are crucial to the project’s success. Bonus: if you can confuse someone into thinking you're actually solving problems, you’re golden.

Conclusion: Embrace the New Normal

Remote work is a beautiful thing, but it comes with its own set of challenges—mainly the challenge of looking busy without actually being busy. By mastering the art of appearing productive, you can enjoy the best of both worlds: the freedom of remote work and the impression of a hard-working employee. So, turn on that green dot, create some ‘important’ meetings, and remember—the key to remote work success is all about perception. Now, back to that Netflix queue… uh, I mean, back to that “Client Strategy Call.”